Christmas Waiting

Christmas waiting sucks! Any family who has suffered infertility, or is waiting to adopt, as well as any orphan who is waiting for their forever family, will probably tell you this is a true statement.  There are reminders everywhere of babies, toys, families, etc. You get the picture. There are "well meaning" comments of what you need to do to get pregnant, or get picked by a birthmom, because after all...It's your fault that you don't have a child.(This sounds angry, but that is the way it feels, even if that's not the way it is intended) There is joy and hope for the coming of baby Jesus and what that means for your soul and eternal life, yet at your core there is a numbness, a self preservation to protect yourself. I sit here on a rainy, dreary day feeling sorry for myself as I type this and knowing that this is not what I truly feel, yet these feeling surface and threaten to choke out any hope I may have.  I know as I sit here, I wait for baby Jesus to come, knowing I am very blessed. I know I love Christmas. I have memories of a wonderful childhood, with the best Christmas. I have a great support system of family and friends. I love Christmas! So today, I will listen to Christmas music, make gingerbread man, shop online for gifts, and try to get a picture of Sadie with a Santa cap, because this stuff makes me happy. I will tackle Christmas head on with joy, hope, and love. I will turn my blog purple, like the purple candles in my advent wreath. Purple the color we see in the morning before sunrise as we wait for the "Son" to come. Purple and all the hope it means...