Washington National Cathedral

We spent one morning at the Washington National Cathedral. My mom recommend it, and we were not disappointed. It is the second largest Cathedral in the United States and sixth in the world. It was built by HAND. Just Fascinating! It is a house of prayer for all religions in our country. It was damaged by the earthquake this past summer, thus the net at the top in the second picture.  There are so many elements in this church, you could look around for hours. There is a stain glass with a solar system and has a moon rock in it. There are gargoyles carved in the top and one is darth vador(a student won a contest to draw a gargoyle).We went to the 7th floor where we could look at the city below. There is so much more that was so neat about this place of worship. Enjoy the pictures and I have included a hymn that was in my prayer book this morning that I really touched me. 

A Prayer

Inside, net at the top

I'm the little blue dot in the center door to the right. Hows that for feeling small?

View from the Street

J in the tunnel on seventh floor taking pictures

Us in the top of the cathedral recording the moment with our iPhone.

"All who seek to know and serve God,
See the past and understand;
None who hoped were disappointed;
Rich the blessings from God's hand!
None who waited were forsaken;
None who trusted were deceived.
All who asked his gracious pardon,
Gentle mercy have received.
If our God does not condemn us,
Who against us then will stand?
Will the Lord who died for sinners,
Who is now at God's right hand?
What could take us from Christ Jesus?
Neither hunger, sword, nor pain!
Neither life nor death shall part us
From the Lamb for us once slain."
Hymn from Magnificat, Author unknown. 

Miracles

Don't get ahead of yourself....This is not my miracle but it is a miracle...He is living proof of LOVE and PRAYERS ANSWERED. My friend and her husband were blessed, after a long wait, with the gift of adoption. Holding Baby C today gave me such hope for a future that I can't see yet, but I know is there.   There is no doubt that this baby boy was a gift from God and That God picked his family. Congratulations to my friends. I'm so happy that I got to see God form your family, it is truly a miracle.  

Gaudete in Domino Semper(Rejoice in the Lord Always)Phil 4:4-5

Today is the 3rd Sunday of Advent, Gaudete Sunday, Rose Sunday, or the Sunday of Joy. We mark the halfway point of advent today.  This Sunday is about Joy.  Gaudete is latin for Rejoice. Where do we find joy? What do we rejoice about? Some may say it is in our shiny new cars or computers, or maybe we rejoice that our football team won the championship.  Our deacon gave a great homily and none of these things made the list of where we should find joy.  "True Joy" is knowing that despite our struggles, God is near. Christians make it through the wars, illness, challenges, because we have hope and joy and the promise of Christ.  I know looking at my life this is so true. I know I have made it through infertility, death of loved ones, adoption ups and downs, everyday problems, because in my heart I have true joy. I know God is carrying me through these times for a future I cannot see at this time. I wish this Christmas that everyone can find "true joy".

"Brothers and Sisters; Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophetic utterances. Test everything retain what is good. Refrain from every kind of evil.


May the God of peace make you perfectly holy and may you entirely, spirit, soul, and body, be preserved blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will also accomplish it."  Thessalonians 5:16-24

Christmas Waiting

Christmas waiting sucks! Any family who has suffered infertility, or is waiting to adopt, as well as any orphan who is waiting for their forever family, will probably tell you this is a true statement.  There are reminders everywhere of babies, toys, families, etc. You get the picture. There are "well meaning" comments of what you need to do to get pregnant, or get picked by a birthmom, because after all...It's your fault that you don't have a child.(This sounds angry, but that is the way it feels, even if that's not the way it is intended) There is joy and hope for the coming of baby Jesus and what that means for your soul and eternal life, yet at your core there is a numbness, a self preservation to protect yourself. I sit here on a rainy, dreary day feeling sorry for myself as I type this and knowing that this is not what I truly feel, yet these feeling surface and threaten to choke out any hope I may have.  I know as I sit here, I wait for baby Jesus to come, knowing I am very blessed. I know I love Christmas. I have memories of a wonderful childhood, with the best Christmas. I have a great support system of family and friends. I love Christmas! So today, I will listen to Christmas music, make gingerbread man, shop online for gifts, and try to get a picture of Sadie with a Santa cap, because this stuff makes me happy. I will tackle Christmas head on with joy, hope, and love. I will turn my blog purple, like the purple candles in my advent wreath. Purple the color we see in the morning before sunrise as we wait for the "Son" to come. Purple and all the hope it means...

First 9 patch

I attended my first quilting bee this week. It was interesting to say the least. I learned a lot and attempted a patch this weekend. This is it. I'm proud it's finished, but oh it is bad!! The squares are uneven, the grain is not consistent with each patch, but you know what, I did all by myself! I conquered the sewing machine, and won. Meeting some women who have been quilting for decades is pretty amazing. There are lots tricks and patience is required. I really want to create something beautiful, but I guess I have to start with baby steps. Its funny how this applies to life. How often to I want the "beautiful, finished product", but don't want to put the time and hard work required to get that product. I feel my journey to become a parent is like this 9 patch. I want it to be perfect now! God is working on me, he wants me to practice, to be patient, and not give up! That is what I will have to do with my adoption journey (and quilting) if I want to eventually have the end products I dream of!

Covering God Up

If I asked you these 5 questions, What is your FIRST thought? Be Honest.
What is the first thing you do in the morning?(I hit snooze)
What are you doing tomorrow?(watching Texas/OU football game)
What are you doing this weekend?(celebrating wedding anniversary)
What do you want most in the world?(children)
What will make you happy?(I'm not sure)


These were the questions we asked our Junior High youth group on Wednesday. They placed their answers on post it notes.  We then discussed the questions and had them place their sticky notes with their answers on a heart shaped cutout with the word God on it, and guess what? God was covered up by answers like football, tests, birthday parties, and cheese(random, but we did say first thought). This is why I love the junior high youth group. We make stuff very simple, yet can be so awakening to any age. We cover God up with life. Nowhere in my answers did I say pray, go to church, help poor, etc. And really, we are all seeking happiness, yet when asked I couldn't define in the first thought what would make me happy. We are distracted daily on our journey through life. Our activities are not bad or wrong, but sometimes we get off track from what is important.

What if's?

How much time do I dedicate to the "what if's" in my life? I don't think there is any aspect of my life(or really even a day) that I have not wondered "what if". What if I went to this college instead of that one? What if I was a size 2 instead of the size I am? What if I couldn't see? What if a birthmom doesn't like me because our profile isn't good enough? What if I miss out on something good in life because of my misconceptions or fears? What if I worry about everything today, yet don't stop to realize it could all be gone tomorrow? Sometimes making a decision is so hard because I am bombarded with the "what if's". The only thing that helps is FAITH. I have to have FAITH that God has my back, and everything that happens is because of his plan for me. All my worries and fears and "what ifs" are distractions keeping me away from FAITH and His plan. How hard would it be to change those "what ifs" to prayers? What if every time I started to hear "what if" in my head I said a small prayer, something simple like "God I thank you and trust in you to guide me"...Just, What if?

Share the Sorrow

Today at church the priest said many things, but the two statements that really stuck were:

-"When we share others sorrows, we cut them in half" and
- "Where do we think happiness is?"

Both of these struck me for different reasons. The first statement has a twofold meaning to me. Do I listen, help(share) others in their time of sorrow or am I always focused on my own sorrows? Also, Do I share my sorrows with others so they can help me, or do I keep it locked tight in my heart? The obvious reality is that everyone is suffering, everyone is trying to fight their own personal battles. Some of us tell the whole world, some of us tell no one.  Maybe by listening, acting, sharing, and showing love to others suffering, I can help cut their sorrow in half, or at least help make it more bearable and maybe along the way I will be changed also..

The second statement is something that I'm still contemplating.....

Answers

I have been talking about a lot of topics on my blog one of which is "why"? Why isn't God talking to me? Why isn't he answering my prayers? Why? Why? It's when you least expect it that you have your Ah-Ha moment. Yesterday, at church, the first thing the deacon said during the homily was, "Do you remember a time you wanted something so bad you couldn't stand it?" This got my attention! Yes I do! He went on to talk about suffering, but continuing to trust in the Lord, our answers aren't always what we want them to be, etc. This concept is not new to me, but is something good to hear again. My ah-ha moment was when I was reflecting on this. I needed to hear that message yesterday! Why was he talking about that?  That is the answer, that is it! God is talking to me! He's talking to me by the people he puts in my life, the encouragement they give me. God is always talking to me, but it is me that sometimes keeps my eyes closed and choses not to listen.

Looking for Wisdom

I am reading a book that referenced the Book of Job as a way to handle suffering and asking God "Why?" I started to reflect about my study of Job. I know the story, I know the saying(the patience of Job), but I don't recall ever sitting down and reading the book and trying to understand it. So in my quest to learn more about God, myself, my place on this earth, I have decided I am going to do an informal study of Job. I'm going to see if I can relate it to me and my purpose. Those who would like can study(or pray) with me. I found a study guide that I'm going to loosely follow.(http://www.drbilllong.com/JobStudyGuide/Intro.html

Here are some facts about The Book of Job(from my bible):
~It is a Wisdom Book.(good start, I need some of that!)
~"Artistic dialogue skillfully handling the problem of suffering though only from the standpoint of temporal life"
~Dramatic poem which treats of the problem of suffering of the innocent, and of retribution
~Job is pious and upright, rich, then suffers reversal of fortune and loses his children, his property and gets a loathsome disease.
~Job does not complain against God!
~Wants death to bring an end to his suffering
~Friend's insist his plight is PUNISHMENT for something he has done
~Job rejects this idea  and calls on a response from God
~God answers, not by justifying his action before men, but referring to his own omniscience and almighty power

What is Love? Is it Unconditional?

I think there are a lot of answers to this question. I am not sure the correct answer. It seems obvious, but sometimes it's not. Do we choose who we love, or does it choose us? Do we love someone because the live in the "right" house, wear the "right" clothes, look the "right" way, or do we just love? Do we pull our blinders off, toss away the circumstances of someone's life and choices and say, "no matter what, I choose to love you?" This to me is the type of love that is raw, real, and very difficult. It's the type of love that is often missing in our world. It is the hardest kind of love. I think when you meet someone who chooses to live with this type of love...you are inspired. I think on the flip side, there are those who do not understand this type of true, unconditional love, and that is shown in their questions and judgement. Life for me is a journey. I cannot tell you that I am one of those people with unconditional love for all, yet. I can tell you that I have met people who have inspired me to strive to be like this, to work at it, and open my heart for the possibilities.....

Keep Hope in Your Heart

I opened a box my grandmother gave me full of rosaries and prayer books. The first prayer book I saw was titled "Keep Hope in Your Heart". Sometimes keeping the hope in your heart for the things we desire the most is really hard, especially when we face adversity while trying to achieve these dreams. I read on, because despite feeling no hope at times, I really want the hope to remain in my heart. I think it would be a really sad day that there is no hope in my heart.  I figured any prayer or poem that helps remind me of this is a good thing. There were several prayers so I decided to post one that touched me today.

Precious Hope

Oh, precious hope that fills the heart with music,

That gives the downcast spirit wings,

To rise above defeat and circumstances;

To treasure  blessings each new dawning brings.

Hope in despair, how welcome the assurance,

God is alive, and He knows what is best.

Though dark the hour and lone the road before us,

 In every storm there is a place of rest.

Regina Wiencek

Open Letter

Dear Loved One,

I know right now is a very stressful time for you. Your time and energy is being consumed with worry and stress as you work to achieve your goal. You worry that all you time and energy will be wasted and your goals not achieved. Please know that I am confident that your dedication, love, and faith will pay off and that you will achieve your goals. Your foundation of knowledge and faith will sustain you and help you to rise to any challenge you will face. Know that I walk with you and I am here to catch you if you fall. In your journey do not forget your compassion and empathy. These are the qualities that will set you apart and help you to truly heal others.

Love,
Loribug

Confirmation

Yesterday I was honored to be a confirmation sponsor for a nice young woman from our church. It was a special ceremony where a young adult reaffirms their baptismal vows and receives the gifts of the Holy Spirit.  Now the quiz part, who can name the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit?

These gifts are:
Wisdom
Understanding
Counsel(Right Judgement)
Fortitude(Courage)
Knowledge
Piety
Fear of the Lord

As I sat and listened to the Bishop reflect on these gifts and what they were going to mean in their life, I couldn't help but look back on my life so far and contemplate what the gifts have meant to me.
I guess the one I really struggle with is the understanding. When I take some of my life's biggest struggles and try to understand, that is when I feel I understand the least. But if you look up understanding as a gift of the Holy Spirit, it is not understanding my own life, but understanding how I need to live as a follower of Christ. Wisdom is not about being smart, but about seeing the work of God in our lives. Fortitude is about having the courage to stand up for God in our lives. These are the gift given to us by the spirit and once we have these gifts we will be able to celebrate the fruits of the spirit. These are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, and chastity. I know I have received some of these fruits, so I deduce that I do have the gifts. I also know that it is something that I have to work on in my life on a daily basis but the reward is great.

Idle with Despair

Well, I was not going to blog today.  I didn't feel like I had much to say, then I was inspired tonight. I don't know if it was God, or Delilah(radio host) that did it, but it happened. She played "Hands" by Jewel while I soaked in my bubble bath, and I listened and almost cried. I have heard the song before, but tonight I listened. Some of the verses are simple, yet so moving. I did not post all the lyrics, but some of the one's that were most moving to me. I really like the verse "I won't be idle with despair", and " I will gather myself around my faith for light does the darkness fear most". WOW, How many times have I been idle with despair?? Probably one to many times. Jewel also performed this song for the Pope at "Natale in Vaticano"(Christmas in the Vatican) I have posted a link to that performance if you would like to see it and hear all of the lyrics.  

"If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands"