Share the Sorrow

Today at church the priest said many things, but the two statements that really stuck were:

-"When we share others sorrows, we cut them in half" and
- "Where do we think happiness is?"

Both of these struck me for different reasons. The first statement has a twofold meaning to me. Do I listen, help(share) others in their time of sorrow or am I always focused on my own sorrows? Also, Do I share my sorrows with others so they can help me, or do I keep it locked tight in my heart? The obvious reality is that everyone is suffering, everyone is trying to fight their own personal battles. Some of us tell the whole world, some of us tell no one.  Maybe by listening, acting, sharing, and showing love to others suffering, I can help cut their sorrow in half, or at least help make it more bearable and maybe along the way I will be changed also..

The second statement is something that I'm still contemplating.....

No Joke

Notice anything missing from these pictures? Let me tell you...It is the SMELL!!! Sadie met a skunk late Monday night. The skunk liked Sadie SO MUCH, that she gave sadie a FREE GIFT!!!! Needless to say, she got 2 baths and was pooped by the end of it(as were we)! 

Answers

I have been talking about a lot of topics on my blog one of which is "why"? Why isn't God talking to me? Why isn't he answering my prayers? Why? Why? It's when you least expect it that you have your Ah-Ha moment. Yesterday, at church, the first thing the deacon said during the homily was, "Do you remember a time you wanted something so bad you couldn't stand it?" This got my attention! Yes I do! He went on to talk about suffering, but continuing to trust in the Lord, our answers aren't always what we want them to be, etc. This concept is not new to me, but is something good to hear again. My ah-ha moment was when I was reflecting on this. I needed to hear that message yesterday! Why was he talking about that?  That is the answer, that is it! God is talking to me! He's talking to me by the people he puts in my life, the encouragement they give me. God is always talking to me, but it is me that sometimes keeps my eyes closed and choses not to listen.

The Sadie Diaries

A Lady Always Sleeps with her legs crossed!

Lounging on the chair I know I'm not supposed to be on!!!

Who Me?

But I'm comfortable!

More Matt Pictures, I love the Matt!!

Fashion Shots

Will you take this cover off me? I just want to watch TV in peace!

Looking for Wisdom

I am reading a book that referenced the Book of Job as a way to handle suffering and asking God "Why?" I started to reflect about my study of Job. I know the story, I know the saying(the patience of Job), but I don't recall ever sitting down and reading the book and trying to understand it. So in my quest to learn more about God, myself, my place on this earth, I have decided I am going to do an informal study of Job. I'm going to see if I can relate it to me and my purpose. Those who would like can study(or pray) with me. I found a study guide that I'm going to loosely follow.(http://www.drbilllong.com/JobStudyGuide/Intro.html

Here are some facts about The Book of Job(from my bible):
~It is a Wisdom Book.(good start, I need some of that!)
~"Artistic dialogue skillfully handling the problem of suffering though only from the standpoint of temporal life"
~Dramatic poem which treats of the problem of suffering of the innocent, and of retribution
~Job is pious and upright, rich, then suffers reversal of fortune and loses his children, his property and gets a loathsome disease.
~Job does not complain against God!
~Wants death to bring an end to his suffering
~Friend's insist his plight is PUNISHMENT for something he has done
~Job rejects this idea  and calls on a response from God
~God answers, not by justifying his action before men, but referring to his own omniscience and almighty power

Too Hot to Blog, or do anything else!

I don't have much to say lately. The heat is draining my brain power!! I would like to redirect you to a blog I follow. The blogger's husband posted a man's perspective on adoption. I found it very refreshing and moving.

http://elderadventures.blogspot.com/2011/07/dads-perspective.html

What did the Roadrunner say to the squirrel?

Same Dog, Same Mat, Different Day

Just Peachy

Today J and I attended the annual Parker County Peach festival. It was HOT and there were lots of peaches, and peach flavored goodies like ice cream, tea, cobbler, etc.. Despite the excruciating heat we had a good time. I was very excited to find a handmade quilt courtesy of the Davis family of Waxahachie. I have wanted a quilt for quite some time but have never found the right one. Today I found the right one! We also found a pedestal bird bath. J has really enjoyed creating a bird haven in our back yard. The only thing missing was a bird bath. This year, due to the drought we are seeing incredible activity at our feeders. It is amazing how peaceful it is to sit and watch birds..Who knew? Enjoy the pictures from today!

Half-Priced Books II: The Bookmark

(This blog is in reference to the blog posted on June 26.)
This bookmark has really got me thinking about adoption and parenthood and a future that is unknown. This bookmark has so many metaphors and meanings. If you aren't into sentimental and corny then you probably should not read any further. Can you use a bookmark as a metaphor for adoption? Is that even possible, a 2 x 4 laminated piece of paper colored by a small child for his mom, and adoption? I think so. This is to me is  an example of all the lives that are weaved together by adoption. It is a tapestry of colors(emotions) drawn by this child, to create something that is beautiful. It is not just us, the family who adopts and lives happily ever after(or so we hope), but a family that also must make the decision to choose adoption for their child, the loss they will experience. I think to truly understand adoption you must grieve WITH the birthmom/family that is having to make this choice. By grieve I don't mean be judgmental, but prayerfully respect the emotions they must be feeling, and the love they have in their hearts to consider adoption. When I found this bookmark, I was sad for the mother who didn't have it anymore.  From my perspective, this bookmark is precious, and beautiful and I know she too feels this too. I understand the loss associated with it. Today, I would like to remember in my prayers(and I hope you do too) all women who are struggling with the decision to choose between adoption and parenting. May God be their light, and lead them to do what is best for their child.

For me the bookmark also symbolized hope. Hope that I would be a mom. After I photoshopped out the face, it got me thinking. One day, I hope their is a picture of my child. Right now it is fuzzy, but it will come into focus eventually.

A Worthwhile Wait?

I was recently challenged with a series of questions, one of which I would like to babble about.....
What is the healthiest way to emotionally and spiritually wait? Of course this question was in reference to my waiting during the adoption process, but I don't think that I can or should draw the line there. I think all of us wait for something in life, something that is special, something that is dear to our hearts. How do we do this? How do we do this with grace and faith? I have been thinking about this, well not just thinking about it, but trying to live it, trying to pray about it, and trying to seek advice from others on this topic. If I look back on the past year, there is just not one thing I've done, but a whole assortment of things. Some good, some maybe not so good. I've cried! I've screamed! I've been honest! I've prayed! I've tried new recipes! I've read the bible! I've blogged! I've talked to friends(thanks guys)! I've taken a vacation! I've exercised! I've gotten a new haircut! I've read books!

I guess the answer to the question is that I don't have an answer. So for now while I wait, I will wake up every morning, put 2 feet on the ground, say a prayer of thanks and a prayer for strength and take it day by day. I will try everyday to find something that makes me smile and do something selfless for someone else.  I will try to make this a worth while wait, a time where I learn and grow emotionally and spiritually.  So, for all of those who are waiting for something, I will leave you with something small to smile about.(Or at least this made me smile)

My new doormat that Sadie has really enjoyed!

Looking Back and Growing from It

J and I were reflecting on the past year at his birthday dinner. We were commenting how, if things had gone differently we could have an 8 month old. It is really a weird, almost a surreal thought. Today, our failed adoption feels like a very foggy dream. The past few months have really allowed me to mature and realize, we can't think about what could have been we just have to look forward and prepare ourselves for the next experience.  I think it was just a test run(a very real, and painful test run) making sure we had considered all the possibilities. I think looking back it has prepared me on how we will handle our next adoption match. I have been saving more money!! Buying the crib, carseat, and portacrib all in a 10 day window really hit home with the cost of raising a child in this day and age. Another really big change is the amount of information we share with others. I think I am a very honest person, almost to a fault. Everyone doesn't need to know the whole story, every tiny detail. Don't get me wrong, we are going to be excited, and share information, just not everything. I plan on keeping a tighter control on the information we share about our birthmom. Her story and how our baby came to be ours, is going to be our child's story to share, not ours. I think this will be the biggest change I make and probably the hardest. This is typically the information people want, all the gory details that led to this child being in my home. I think the answer that will be best, "This child is here because that is where God wanted him/her."  My love and my heart is the same and will still be vulnerable, but I'm ready! Bring it on!(Sooner rather than later!)